You never completely know where reiki will go

I've been sending my almost 76 year old father reiki in an effort to help pull him out of his descent into dementia as much as I can. Since the last post, much has happened. He is much more lucid, not completely himself, but borderline, understand what I'm talking about and can hold a conversation. (Actually, in my lifetime, I've never known him to hold much of one with me, but he did the other day).

The remarkable story goes like this... I picked him up from the retirement home (where he's been living for a few days since his wife kicked him out), and took him for dinner. Now, I've been sending him reiki daily, just hoping it helps his mind. In my wildest dreams, I'd wished all my life that he would amidst to the many heinous things he'd done during my life, but that wish was mostly in the back of my mind, as apology is not in his nature, nor is introspection.

But that night, something happened.

After showing him several photos of where I lived in B.C., I ran out of things to talk to him about (since I do most of the talking) so I decided to wing it and ask what career would he have chosen if he hadn't done fashion or if he really had another choice in life (he probably went into fashion because his mother had).

Now, I'm not sure if it was a result of the reiki I've been sending him for a few weeks (I'd like to think so), or if he mis-heard me, or if his failing health has scared him, but slightly above the din of the noisy restaurant, I heard him say someting about "father and daughter" and feeling "bad". So I asked him what he meant, to make sure I was even hearing "feeling bad" wrong, as that would normally not be in his vocabulary.

But, I heard it wright. He said he felt bad because of how he treated me, and that he shouldn't have treated his daughter that way, and that he made so many mistakes and did so much wrong. Was I in shock. While he was on a roll, I thought I'd ask exactly what he remembered as haing done wrong, but he wouldn't go there, other than to say he did many things wrong. And he actually sounded quite distarught about it. The closest I can think of hearing someone so distraught in an apology was Schindler of Schindler's List (the movie).

It was quite amazing. So amazing that all I can imagine is that the reiki I've been sending him has been aligning him with his guides more, and aligning me somehow so that they can tell what I emotionally need, and that they came through him and helped him say what he was truly feeling deep down, as his whole tone of voice and being were quite different, almost like he was channeling someone in.

By the time we got back to the retirement home , about 20 min later, he was almost his old self, talking about how bad my skin looked, and being once again the father he apologoized for being.

But I like to think of that as his "demented" side and the other as his wise or "higher Self" side, and as he isn't reliable, this thought will be, and may sustain me for the rest of my days. Unless his apologies run deeper and provide me with more succor.